More tranny stories later!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
