Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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