he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize