But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
