I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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