I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
