it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
