i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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