you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
