And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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