i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
