nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize