Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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