a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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