its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
