She's JV to your varsity
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize