We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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