READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
