he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
