sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
