Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
