She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize