GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
