YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
