great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
