I smell stomach acid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
