It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
