Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
