Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
