My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
