I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
