i just google imaged poop.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
