I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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