How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
