We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
