I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
