bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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