Acid is not a monday night drug
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
