Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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