My nipple is on Facebook.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
