How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
