just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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