on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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