Having a random hookup so left but love u
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize