Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
