i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
