I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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