i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize