I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
