I look better un-naked...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
