So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
