You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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