I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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