we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
