I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
