he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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