why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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