I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
