How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
