So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
