Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize