Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
