Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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