Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
