you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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