I got chris browned last night
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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