Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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