Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
