i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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