I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize