was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
