How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
