Screwed.edu
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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