Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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